bored poem

Here I am,
Waiting again,
To see the face
Of my best friend.
Being away
Is so very hard.
All the miles
Even make memories seem far.
But very soon
I'll see my mate,
And maybe this time
We can go on a date.
A song for me,
A song for you.
Lets have a song
In a big, brown shoe.
Would you like a piece of pie?

Fear

Is everybody ready for this? The guy who loves Truth is about to be truly honest. I suppose not just honest, but vulnerable. I am afraid of what my Savior has called me to do, but I can't deny whats causing my soul to burn either. Right now I'm listening to Louie Giglio preach. I love listening to him. He always seems so passionate about what God is doing in him. Guess that's why they call thier ministry "Passion." God has called me to stand out in the world like a two headed guy. That scares me. I know all the black, devouring sin that is in my past. You don't. Will it be found out if you can't help but see me? I want to stand back and be a good christian, live my life, raise my children to be great christians, and die content on my way to heaven. But when I hear the word of God brutally honestly spoken ( in preaching or song or nature) it tears my heart from my chest. It flings my spirit into the sky as if setting it to fly with joy and sorrow and peace and passion. "I heard You calling, setting fire to my soul." God, i dont have the words. I dont usually ask this directly, but please pray for me. There is a lot I need to get straight in my life, but should that stop me from taking up my cross right now? I love Christ with all my heart, but I dont want what He wants neccessarily. I love people who are hurting, but I hate people at the same time. I want to be a great teacher and exhorter and merciful christian brother, but I cant stand the taste that the church leaves in my mouth. I suppose my struggle is not so unusual, but it is because its mine. Perhaps, while Im praying for my own understanding in this, I should pray for yours also. Cause we're probably all there in some way. I know nobody reads this, but thanks for your ear. Christ I love you with all that is within me - help me live you with all that is me too. Captare Veritas - Seek Truth

Better Questions

Woohoo. I've got a new favorite CD! No big suprise to anyone who really knows my music(which would be Trish), but it's Todd Agnew's "Better Questions." I love that the guy is so open and honest about his own walk, and he puts it down for us because we all share the same struggles wether we like to admit it or not. I really took something he said to heart. He said that God is big enough to take our frustrations and questions. Its not gonna hurt Him for us to scream and beat on his chest because we're in pain. Much the same as we would hold our own children if they lashed out in fear and misunderstanding. So often we are afraid to ask the hard questions about our faith, fearing it will hinder our faith. In all actuallity, if we trully believe that it is the Truth, questions will only bring about a deeper faith and understanding. You cannot disprove what is true. Trish and I have run into a lot of fear and reaction when we bring up questions that are counter cultural to commonly accepted christian thinking. The sad thing is that we're not trying to make a point, we're really searching for the hard truth. It always comes down to feeling awkward and leaving with the same old answers that we've always heard thrown at us as if we're a nuisance. And if that same old answer is the right answer, that's great........ just show it to me with a real in depth, backed up answer. Not just what we've been told in paraphrase by preachers all our lives. I know those answers, I'm looking for something deeper. Its not anyone else's job to find those answers for me, Ican read the Bible myself, but when you can't even talk about it.... thats sad man.

Saturday on Beale St. with the drunk and the searching, I hear an old man playing guitar. I can't make out what he's saying, but I can tell you that he's suffered. And he means every word from the bottom of what's left of his heart tonight. A few hours later I slip into church singing songs about saving grace. One guy's nodding off and another hates to be here, and we all mouth the words to save face. Its 11:15 on Sunday morning, and I wish I was...
On a corner in Memphis, listening to the old man singing out his sorrows and laying down his pride. He's telling me his story, or at least his side with no need to pretend and no place to hide.
Cause we are all broken here, and we're all ashamed. I couldn't fool you if I wanted to. Our stories are too much the same. And what about this Jesus: they say he drank with the poor and the blind and the lame. Do you think he'd like the songs that we sing, or would he feel the same as I do? What if Sunday school was on Saturday night....
On a corner in Memphis, listening to the old man singing out his sorrows and laying down his pride. He's telling me his story, or at least his side with no need to pretend and no place to hide. On a corner in Memphis.
What if thier heart-breaking cries of pain are the first hymns of tommorrow's saints?
On a corner in Memphis, we're singing with the old man, crying for his sorrows and laying down our pride. He's telling us our story, or at least his side with no need to pretend and no place to hide. On a corner in Memphis.
On a Corner in Memphis - Todd Agnew